Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
