You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My dick has a subreddit
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
