at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
