I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
