My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
