dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
