I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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