therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
