he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
