Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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