I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
