So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
