apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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