..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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