love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
please come you make the beer taste better
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
