I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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