idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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