You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
