Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
