Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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