She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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