Whats the glycemic index on semen?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize