He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
