just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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