ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
