All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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