Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize