i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
