Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
