Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
