I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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