She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize