I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
