Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
