I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Vodka?
Forever.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
