Already got asked if we're dating
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
