and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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