Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
