i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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