well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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