I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
