She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize