you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
