porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
