some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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