I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
