haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
