why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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