Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
