Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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