Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize