Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
