idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
