i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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