I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
