I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
