Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize