Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
