it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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