he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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