He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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