You can't motorboat a personality
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
