he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
