I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
