Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
