I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
