make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize