Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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